Posted by Helga on 9/29/2006, 3:56 pm
74.12.151.145
It's been almost three years since I put my baby Tiki to sleep. I managed to get through life for a while after I grieved for months. Now for some reason I get these feelings back and am severly depressed and cry all the time. It's mainly because I took her to the doctor's and they said she had kennel cough. I gave her the round of pills (which didn't really help). Problem is I never took her back up to the doctor's and told them she still had the cough. Done some reading on tracheal collapse but it's the not knowing that's killing me. She also had a digestive problem (hard belly) that I took her up to the vet for two times. They took blood work, x-rays, and gave me gas pills. Although she was still walking around, walking up and down two stairs and jumping on my bed and wagging her tail I guess I didn't think hard enough to take her back up to the doctor's to get rid of it. I loved her and cared about her more than I can say and I can't figure out how I could have been so STUPID. I can't tell you how much I actually hate myself for doing this and can't understand why. I always took her up to the vet when something was wrong. How can one go through life with remembering something like this. About one and a half year later (at 12 years old) she developed bladder stones and arthritis (along with her going blind and going to bathroom in the house for over 2 years and her cough adn digestive problem) the vet told me they didn't like operating on older dogs and he didn't know how much longer she would make it because of her arthritis and her having digestive problem. Please don't leave any remarks on what I could have done to make her better as I couldn't handle it. Sometimes don't really feel like going on and dealing with this guilt and pain. I love my baby so much and miss her terribly.
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